Sticker charts, points, pocket money for chores: every parent has tried some kind of reward, and every parent has heard that rewards "kill motivation." Both camps have a point. Fifty years of research says rewards can backfire, and it also says how to use them so they don't. Here's what the studies actually found, and what it means at your kitchen table.
Want the short version? Stimul8 is a free family app: your kid picks the reward, earns points for chores and homework, and you approve with a tap. Get Stimul8 free on iPhone
The study everyone quotes: the markers experiment
In 1973, psychologists Mark Lepper, David Greene and Richard Nisbett watched preschoolers who already loved drawing with markers. Some were told in advance they'd get a "Good Player" certificate for drawing. Some got the same certificate as a surprise afterward. Some got nothing.
A week or two later, back in free play, the children who had expected the certificate spent noticeably less time drawing than the other two groups. The surprise-reward group didn't lose interest at all. (Lepper, Greene & Nisbett, 1973, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology)
What it means: the problem wasn't the reward. It was turning something a child already enjoyed into "do this, get that."
The big review: when rewards undermine interest
In 1999, Edward Deci, Richard Koestner and Richard Ryan pulled together 128 experiments on rewards and motivation. Their conclusion: expected, tangible rewards tend to reduce how much people choose to do an activity on their own afterward, especially when the activity was already interesting to them. Verbal praise, on the other hand, tended to increase it. (Deci, Koestner & Ryan, 1999, Psychological Bulletin)
What it means: don't put a price on the things your kid already loves (drawing, reading for fun, building things). Rewards belong on the jobs nobody enjoys: unloading the dishwasher, practicing spelling, making the bed.
What rewards are good for: effort, not results
Economist Roland Fryer ran large experiments in more than 200 schools in Dallas, New York and Chicago. Paying students for results (test scores, grades) did little. Paying second graders in Dallas to read books, something fully in their control, improved their reading comprehension. (Fryer, 2011, Quarterly Journal of Economics)
What it means: reward the thing your kid can actually do tonight: twenty minutes of reading, the homework sheet finished, the room cleared. Don't reward "get an A." Kids don't know how to turn wanting an A into getting one. They do know how to sit down and read.
Praise works too, if you praise the right thing
Claudia Mueller and Carol Dweck found that fifth graders praised for being smart ("you're so clever") later chose easier problems and gave up faster after a setback. Kids praised for effort ("you worked hard on that") chose harder problems and kept going. (Mueller & Dweck, 1998)
What it means: "You finished all six questions without stopping" beats "You're a genius." Praise the effort, specifically.
Habits take longer than you think, and a missed day is fine
In a study of new daily habits, Phillippa Lally and colleagues at University College London found it took an average of 66 days for a behavior to feel automatic, with a huge range (18 to 254 days). Missing a single day didn't undo the progress. (Lally et al., 2010, European Journal of Social Psychology)
What it means: plan for two months, not two weeks. And when your kid misses a day, the restart matters more than the miss.
Putting it together: a reward system that doesn't backfire
- Reward the boring stuff, not the fun stuff. Chores and homework, yes. Their hobby, no.
- Reward effort they control. "Read for 20 minutes," not "finish the book by Friday."
- Let them choose the reward. A goal your kid picked pulls harder than one you picked for them.
- Pair points with specific praise. The reward says "this counted"; the praise says "I noticed how."
- Expect it to take weeks. Keep it going past the novelty, and treat a missed day as a restart, not a failure.
- Mix in surprises. An unplanned "that was great, here's a bonus" doesn't carry the same risk as a promised prize.
By age
- Ages 3–5: surprise rewards and lots of specific praise. Keep goals to today.
- Ages 6–10: small points for daily jobs, a reward they choose at the end of the week or two.
- Ages 11+: let them set the goal and track their own progress. Bigger, longer goals work now.
Where Stimul8 fits
Stimul8 is built around what the research supports. Chores, homework and routines are Activities your kid ticks off, so the points go to effort they control. You approve each one with a tap (the moment for that specific praise). The points go toward a reward your kid chose: a Roblox or Amazon gift card, cash, or a reward you set together. Streaks show the habit building day by day, and a missed day is just a restart.
Try it this week: pick two jobs nobody enjoys, make each one a daily Activity, and let your kid choose what the points are for. Get Stimul8 free on iPhone.
Stimul8 helps families turn chores, homework and routines into goals kids actually want to finish. Kids earn Roblox, Amazon and Nintendo gift cards, and cash, for putting in the effort.
